Let’s be real, mama. Preschoolers are tiny dictators with zero chill, and navigating conversations with them is like walking through a minefield of meltdowns. One wrong word, and BOOM! Your peaceful afternoon turns into a screaming match over why they can’t eat Play-Doh.
But here’s the thing, sometimes, we say things that seem harmless but actually backfire big time. If you’ve ever had a preschooler respond to your “Because I said so!” with a full-blown tantrum, you know what I mean.
So, let’s talk about the seven things you should never say to your preschooler, and what to say instead.
1. “Hurry up!”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Preschoolers operate in a time zone that defies physics. Asking them to hurry is like telling a turtle to sprint, it’s just not happening. Plus, it can make them anxious or resistant.
Say This Instead:
“Let’s race to see who can get ready first!”
Turn it into a game, and suddenly they’re zooming like they’re in the Olympics.
2. “You’re okay.”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Your kid just took an epic tumble, and instead of reassurance, they get… dismissal? Oof. Telling them they’re okay when they clearly feel otherwise invalidates their emotions.
Say This Instead:
“That looked like it hurt! Do you want a hug or a Band-Aid?”
This lets them know you see them, you care, and also, kids love Band-Aids even when they’re not bleeding. Just roll with it.
3. “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Aside from being, um, super terrifying, this teaches kids that emotions should be punished instead of understood.
Say This Instead:
“It’s okay to be sad. I’m here if you need a hug.”
Boom. Emotional intelligence + comfort = fewer tantrums in the long run.
4. “You’re being bad.”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Labeling kids as “bad” makes them feel like they are bad, not just their behavior. Preschoolers thrive on feeling loved and valued, even when they’re acting like tiny chaos gremlins.
Say This Instead:
“That choice wasn’t kind. Let’s try again.”
This focuses on the behavior, not the kid. Because let’s be honest, even adults make bad choices (hello, eating cookies for dinner).
5. “Wait until your dad/mom hears about this!”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Ah, the classic “other parent as the bad cop” move. This just makes kids fear one parent instead of understanding their actions.
Say This Instead:
“We need to talk about what happened. Let’s figure out a better way next time.”
No threats, just teamwork.
6. “Because I said so!”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Preschoolers love to ask why. If you shut them down, they just dig in harder. It also misses an opportunity to teach them logic and reasoning.
Say This Instead:
“I know you want to keep playing, but we have to leave so we can be on time. Do you want to hop like a bunny to the car or stomp like a dinosaur?”
Give them a reason and a choice, and suddenly, you’re not the enemy.
7. “Stop being so shy.”
Why It’s a Disaster:
Shyness isn’t something to be “fixed.” Calling attention to it can make kids feel self-conscious and retreat even more.
Say This Instead:
“You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready. I’ll be right here when you are.”
No pressure. Just support.
Final Thoughts
Listen, mama, we all slip up sometimes. Parenting a preschooler is like trying to negotiate with a tiny, emotionally volatile CEO who refuses to wear pants. The good news? A little tweak in how we phrase things can make a huge difference.
So next time you feel a “Because I said so!” bubbling up, take a deep breath and try one of these alternatives. Your future self (and your kid’s tantrum levels) will thank you.