If you’ve ever found yourself locked in a battle of wills with a pint-sized dictator over something as trivial as putting on shoes, you are not alone. Parenting a preschooler is basically like negotiating with a tiny, highly emotional CEO, except their idea of a business plan is eating Goldfish off the floor.
Discipline is tough. One minute, you’re standing your ground like a boss, and the next, you’re bribing your child with fruit snacks just to get them to sit still for 10 seconds. (No judgment, I’ve been there, too.)
But here’s the good news: You’re doing a great job. And even better? The little discipline mistakes we all make can be fixed with a few small tweaks.
So grab your coffee (and maybe hide in the pantry for a minute if you need a break), and let’s dive into the 7 most common discipline mistakes, and what to do instead!
1. Being Inconsistent (AKA: The “Just This Once” Trap)
You say no to screen time before dinner… except on the days when you’re exhausted and need 10 minutes of peace. Totally understandable, but to your little one? This means no doesn’t really mean no.
Fix It: Pick a rule and stick to it like glue. If “no snacks before dinner” is the rule, it’s always the rule, yes, even when they give you that heartbreakingly adorable pout. Consistency helps kids feel safe because they know exactly what to expect.
2. Giving Too Many Warnings
“I’m going to count to three…” (Counts to three. Adds an extra three. Ends up counting to 17.) Sound familiar?
Fix It: Instead of endless warnings, give one firm, clear warning with a consequence. “If you don’t pick up your toys, I will put them away for the rest of the day.” Then (this is the hard part) follow through immediately. No empty threats!
3. Losing Your Cool (We’ve All Been There!)
You didn’t wake up today planning to yell like a banshee over spilled Cheerios, yet… here we are. Losing your temper is normal, but if it happens often, it can make discipline less effective.
Fix It: When you feel yourself getting to rage monster mode, take a deep breath. Step away if needed. Use a calm, firm voice, even when you’re steaming inside. Bonus tip: Try whispering instead of yelling. It totally throws kids off and gets their attention way faster.
4. Expecting Too Much (They’re Tiny, Not Robots!)
It’s easy to assume that your child should know better. But toddlers and preschoolers are still learning impulse control (which, let’s be honest, some adults still struggle with!).
Fix It: Set realistic expectations. Instead of expecting your child to sit through an entire meal without getting up, start with a five-minute goal and work up from there.
5. Talking Too Much
Ever tried explaining why throwing food is bad in a long, logical speech? Yeah, they stopped listening after three words.
Fix It: Keep it short and sweet. “No throwing food. Food stays on the plate.” That’s it. Preschoolers respond best to simple, direct communication.
6. Using Time-Outs Incorrectly
Time-outs can work, but not if they’re confusing or feel like a punishment instead of a reset.
Fix It: Make time-outs short (one minute per year of age is a good rule). Use them as a way to calm down rather than as a You’re in big trouble! moment. And always reconnect after: “I love you. Let’s try again.”
7. Forgetting to Praise the Good Stuff
It’s easy to focus on the don’ts, don’t hit, don’t scream, don’t feed the dog Play-Doh. But kids crave positive reinforcement.
Fix It: Catch them being good! “Wow, you put your shoes on all by yourself! High five!” Praise makes them more likely to repeat good behavior because, let’s be honest, preschoolers love applause.
The Game-Changer You NEED
If you’re struggling with discipline, let me introduce you to my absolute lifesaver: The Time Timer.
This genius visual timer helps kids understand time limits without endless nagging. It’s amazing for managing transitions (because telling a preschooler “five more minutes” means nothing to them). Just set it, and when the red part disappears, time’s up. No more power struggles!
Final Thoughts
Mama, discipline isn’t about control, it’s about teaching. You’re not raising a tiny rule-follower, you’re raising a future kind, responsible human. And guess what? You’re doing better than you think.
Now go forth and parent like a pro! And if you found this helpful, share it with another mom who could use a little encouragement today.