Let me guess, you’re standing there, watching your adorable, spaghetti-covered preschooler throw their arms around your partner while screaming, “No! I want Daddy to do it!” (or Mommy, if you’re the chosen one today). And you? You’re just trying not to take it personally while also questioning every parenting decision you’ve ever made.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Parental favoritism is as common as Goldfish crackers in the backseat of your car. And while it might sting like stepping on a LEGO barefoot, the good news is, this too shall pass. But in the meantime, let’s figure out WHY your little one is playing favorites and HOW to even the score.
1. The “Fun Parent” Effect
A.K.A. “Daddy’s so fun! Mommy makes me eat vegetables.”
Kids are smart. They quickly figure out who’s more likely to let them stay up late, skip a bath, or turn the couch into a trampoline. If one parent is the rule enforcer while the other is the “sure, have ice cream for breakfast” enabler, guess who’s winning the popularity contest?
Fix It:
- Tag-team the fun – If your partner is the one doing all the roughhousing, schedule in some Mommy Tickle Monster time or surprise dance parties after dinner.
- Balance the discipline – Split up the less-fun parenting tasks so you’re both equally boring.
2. The Routine Ruler
Your child loves the parent who handles bedtime because that’s their safe, predictable comfort zone.
If Daddy does storytime every night and Mommy takes over when he’s away, expect major pushback. Preschoolers thrive on routine, and any change can feel like an alien invasion.
Fix It:
- Introduce mini-switches – If bedtime is Dad’s thing, let Mom handle it once a week. And vice versa.
- Use a transitional object – A stuffed animal, blanket, or even a special “magic” flashlight can make switching parents easier.
3. The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome
Ever notice how your kid suddenly NEEDS the parent who just left for work?
Absence makes the preschool heart grow fonder. If one parent is home all day, the other one instantly becomes the “rare Pokémon” they must catch at all costs.
Fix It:
- Create daily connection rituals – A quick Facetime call at lunch, a special handshake when they get home, or a “Daddy’s coming home countdown” can help.
- Let the at-home parent be the “fun” one occasionally – Break the routine with a spontaneous indoor picnic or a pillow fort movie night.
4. The Emotional Safety Net
Bad day? Time to cling to the parent who gives the best cuddles.
Kids develop different attachments for different needs. If your child always runs to Mom when they’re hurt but to Dad when they want to wrestle, it’s not favoritism, it’s strategy.
Fix It:
- Encourage both parents to be comfort sources – If one parent is always the boo-boo fixer, start switching it up.
- Use the “handover” technique – If your child refuses your comfort, try starting with the favorite parent and easing them into your arms.
5. The Special Skills Factor
Is one parent a master at Lego towers while the other can barely assemble a sandwich?
Kids naturally gravitate toward the parent who excels at their current obsession. If Mommy builds the best pillow forts, Daddy’s bedtime story just won’t cut it.
Fix It:
- Learn each other’s tricks – No, you don’t have to love dinosaurs or become a Play-Doh sculpting champion overnight, but show interest in what your child loves.
- Find a shared activity – Something new that both parents can do together (baking, dance parties, bug hunting, whatever works).
6. The Power of Marketing
If one parent sells themselves better, they’ll win every time.
Example:
Mom: “Time for a bath.”
Dad: “Hey buddy, wanna take a bubble bath and pretend we’re deep-sea divers?”
Who do you think wins that round?
Fix It:
- Rebrand your boring tasks – Brushing teeth? Nope. We’re “chasing away the sugar bugs.”
- Use a transition tool – Something as simple as a fun toothbrush timer can make all the difference.
The Secret Weapon Every Parent Needs
If bedtime battles, brushing resistance, and snack-time tantrums are making you feel like a hostage negotiator, here’s the ultimate hack:
Whether it’s a magical night light that makes bedtime fun, a playful toothbrush that turns brushing into a game, or a snack cup that doesn’t spill everywhere, the right tool can end the favoritism struggle overnight.
Moms swear by it. Kids love it. You NEED this in your life.
Final Thoughts: It’s Not You, It’s Them
Preschoolers play favorites, and that’s totally normal. One day, you’re the chosen one. The next day, you’re chopped liver. Don’t take it personally.
Just keep showing up, keep making memories, and keep being the amazing parent you already are.