Let’s be real: Teaching manners to a preschooler is like trying to train a squirrel to do calculus. It’s chaotic, exhausting, and sometimes you question whether it’s even possible. You dream of raising a polite little human who says “please” instead of screaming “I WANT IT!” at full volume in Target, but the struggle is real.
Good news, mama. You can teach your preschooler manners without feeling like a broken record. And no, it doesn’t involve bribing them with gummy bears (although, hey, no judgment). Here’s how:
1. Be the Manners Model They Can’t Resist
Kids learn by watching you, which means they’re picking up on everything, yes, even when you mutter under your breath in traffic. So, start saying “please” and “thank you” like you’re starring in a manners commercial. When they see you doing it, they’ll eventually copy you. Monkey see, monkey do!
2. Make It a Game
Preschoolers love a challenge, so turn manners into a fun competition. Try the “Manners Challenge”, whoever says “please” and “thank you” the most in a day wins! (Spoiler: You don’t actually have to keep score. Just celebrate their effort, and they’ll stay engaged.)
3. Use the Magic of Books
There’s a reason bedtime stories are so powerful, kids absorb lessons from books like little sponges. Grab a fun, engaging book about manners (“Excuse Me!” by Karen Katz is a winner) and let it do some of the teaching for you.
4. Give Them Choices
Instead of saying, “Say please,” try, “Would you like to ask nicely, or should we try again?” This gives them control while reinforcing good behavior. Preschoolers love feeling like they have a say in things (even if we secretly still hold all the power).
5. Praise, Praise, Praise!
Catch them in the act of being polite, and make a BIG deal about it. “Oh wow, you said ‘thank you’ all by yourself! That was so kind!” They’ll beam with pride and want to do it again just to hear that sweet, sweet praise.
6. Make Manners Fun at Mealtime
Dinnertime is prime time for practicing polite behavior. Try the “Restaurant Game”, pretend you’re at a fancy restaurant (even if you’re eating chicken nuggets), and everyone must use their best manners. Bonus: It helps prepare them for actual restaurant outings where you really don’t want a meltdown.
7. Use a Manners Reward Chart
If your child is motivated by visuals, a sticker chart works wonders. Each time they remember to use good manners, they get a sticker. Five stickers? They pick the bedtime story. Ten stickers? They get to choose what’s for dinner (within reason, of course, no, we’re not having marshmallows and ketchup for dinner, kid).
8. Teach the “Try Again” Rule
When your child demands, “Gimme that!” don’t scold, just say, “Oops! Try that again with nice words.” Giving them a chance to correct themselves helps reinforce the habit without turning it into a battle.
9. The One-Second Fix: The Magic Button
Introducing: The Manners Magic Button. (Okay, it’s imaginary, but your preschooler doesn’t need to know that.) Whenever they forget their manners, just say, “Oops! Press the magic button and try again.” They’ll giggle, press an invisible button on their nose, and suddenly transform into the politest kid ever. It’s weirdly effective.
10. Use the Secret Weapon Moms Swear By: Manners Mats!
If dinnertime is where most of the manners training happens (and let’s be honest, it totally is), then these Manners Placemats are an absolute game-changer. They feature fun, colorful reminders about saying “please,” chewing with your mouth closed, and using kind words, all while keeping your table free from spaghetti sauce disasters. Seriously, they work like magic. (Grab yours [here] before they sell out!).
You’ve Got This, Mama!
Raising a polite preschooler doesn’t have to feel like an endless loop of “Say thank you!” Just mix in some fun, a little praise, and maybe a magic button or two. Your little one will be saying “please” and “thank you” like a pro before you know it.
Now, tell me, what’s the funniest (or most frustrating) thing your preschooler has ever said instead of “please” or “thank you”? Drop it in the comments! Let’s laugh about this parenting adventure together.